MG - Comediene Extraordinaire.. gave notice

JOURNAL / BLOG ENTRY
In honor of MG giving notice (to quit) today, I present a few overheard gems I'd been saving:

(trying to get out of working a Mexico order) I dont speak spanish! I dont even know how to pronounce the name of this tech.

Oh.

Oh.. it's "John"?

Oh, ok. I didn't know.

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(on the phone) "before i ask a real question... if you could have any one of superman's powers, which would you have? y'know, flying, x-ray vision, etc. [pause] [some magazine, i didn't hear the name] had an article and this one guy, i thought it was so sweet, he said he would take flying so that he could jump off the WTC and stop the planes before they hit"

it's like she's a comedian but instead of a punchline, the jokes always end with "oh and i killed your family and drained your bank account... and you have to go to jail now"

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I need to learn excel, I tried once, someone gave me the Excel for Dummies book.....I found it too advanced (i swear, i do NOT make these up)