Wednesday, December 21, 2005

a very perfect birthday

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How to have a perfect birthday:
--- let awesome girlfriend plan as many suprises as she sees fit, which is many.
--- hold girlfriend to her "whatever you want to do, today is your day" statement.

the above two items may sound like they'd have conflicted but they didn't. She planned the big events, I interspersed some Kory-favorites in between.

--- Sleep in. lounge. relax. fall back asleep. wake up. get out of bed only for hunger.
--- having B-day veto'd the girlfriend-suggested Cool, New Neighborhood Cafe in favor of Bagels Made By Rude People, we ate bagels in front of Father Demo Square, which is a triangle and not a square and yes "in front of" and not "in" because the city-renovation fairy set up chain link fences a few weeks ago but did not inform the city-works fairy that work could begin, leaving the square (that is a triangle, not a square) a fenced-in, empty, taunt to all who'd dare to dream of benches and bagels comingling in perfect morning-meal harmony.
--- take your girlfriend to the post office. 'Cause she really wants hanukkah stamps. like.. a lot, she wants them. like so much, she's been talking about them all weekend. take her to the post office. it'll make her happy and she'll even show you her exciting new hanukkah stamps. you will enjoy the smile on her face more than you conversely hated waiting for her.
--- having already put in an exhausting day of effort, start thinking about taking a nap.
--- go home, fiddle with computer trying to get laptop and cable modem to play nice.
--- subconsciously realize but block from forethought the fact that you DO realize your girlfriend is doing 2 days worth your dishes to be sweet and because she thinks your kitchen is a mess and smelly because of a minor build up of cat litter. help put away clean dishes in effort to justify your upcoming nap.
--- take nap. enjoy nap immensely.
--- let girlfriend lead you to suprise # 2 (suprise # 1 was a b-day card left on pillow before nap) which your roommate sorta kinda blew for you having called you to ask if we were still at suprise # 2 location.
--- tell girlfriend it's sweet that she really wants to salvage the suprise by getting off at 28th St and getting in a cab so we can look around for the 'mystery' restaraunt when i know we're probably going to 42nd St, but really, it's not necessary because it's 23 degrees out.
--- Overact your mock suprise when you arrive at Red Lobster for the equivalent of all you can eat shrimp (scampi only, thank you) that you had mentioned wanting to have some months back.
--- call upon Birthday-priveledge to sit facing the glass waterfall because despite their obvious cheesy-ness, you love them dearly.
--- let girlfriend lead you to suprise # 3 via the subway and use crafty misdirection to make you think you are going bowling when really you are going to Barcade.
--- arrive at Barcade.... marvel with mouth, literally ajar.
--- contain enthusiasm. refrain from forgetting all about your girlfriend and the rest of existence. make half hearted attempt to be interested in anything anyone says. pretend to be cool and get a beer. do not stare at the video games you are now dying to play.
--- saunter. do not run. make your way calmly towards the change machine.
--- get $200 in quarters from change machine. wake up from ideal fantasy. get $2 in quarters.
--- first stop, Punch Out. make Glass Joe your b!#ch. lose to Bald Bull. hang head in shame.
--- say Hi to friends who've shown up, accept gifts, make small talk. you may now forget about friends.
--- next stop, Tempest. and Asteroids and Track and Field and on and on and on... and on.
--- stop playing, stop drinking... just for a moment. ok, there. back to work.
--- remember you have people there for your birthday. talk to them a little more. ok, talking done... back to games.
--- Enjoy games AND friends AND brooklyn AND the even cold - IMMENSELY.
--- stop. marvel at the perfect birthday you are having.
--- gather belongings to go. watch girlfriend panic when the disposable camera cant be found.
--- search and search and ... and oh god, we're still searching.... for the camera.
--- console girlfriend over it's loss.
--- get home, find camera in sweatshirt pocket. oops.
--- call girlfriend, delight in her relief over it not being lost, say goodnight and share your enormous and sincere thanks for the most perfect birthday .... ever ?
















MmMmm... shrimps. best eaten while being photographed.






















make a goofy face by accident? sure, why not. see the pretty glass waterfall? Ooooh.















I think I had food coma from too many shrimp but forced myself to 'work it' for the camera one more time, like the sexy bitch I am.
















Did you need proof that I was really at Red Lobster? fine.
















may the force be with me. And it was.
















Donkey Kong's opening screen says "How high can you get?" what a nice message to children.
















Marisa, Chris & Matt treating Barcade like.... like it's a bar or something.

















While I was only slightly buzzed for this photo, I dont think it's possible for me to have looked more F'd up. I mean, seriously.
















Chris pretends to enjoy Dig Dug. is it possible to genuinely enjoy Dig Dug if it's not 1984?

















Karen finally gets time at Ms Pac-Man after telling the gay straight boys who'd been hogging it the following: "you're stupid" - maybe you had to be there... it was truly the best comeback ever.

Zaxxon is still damn hard.





















The boys. Just because. Flapjack and Hambone seem to make their way into every roll of film I shoot.

a cabin in the Catskills

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- a trip to the Catskills -
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to the catskills! or ... Cat skills... or... CatSkills. Well, you know which one I prefer.















you did not grow up on this planet if you have not taken a variation of this kind of photo.
















"make a right after 'Pan the kill Road'" - Pan The Kill? I got more bonus points than I probably deserved for figuring out that the directions should have read Pantherkill Road.
















Cute little houses + snow = happiness.
ok, fine... anything + snow = happiness.
















This stunning picture almost captures how beautiful the cabin was, day & night. It didnt hurt that we had a professional photographer with us.

















"cabin" implies sacrifice. this was anything but.

















from the A-frame's loft.
















another nice shot from the loft.
















Yeah. a working wood burning stove. 1 of 3 types of heat we used (central electric heating, fireplace, stove)
















An out of sequence photo of Dylan and Marissa, just for introductions-sake. Dylan, Marissa, this is everybody... everybody, Dylan and Marissa.















And Diego, of course. if you must know, and I know some of you must, he's a Vizsla.
















I was compelled by evil sorcery (or wine) to make symetrical snow clomping patterns outside our cabin. you dont even KNOW how much fun it was. you DONT even KNOW.















to Phoenecia!! where's that? Ah. right... it's by Woodstock. We all got carsick, it was awesome.
















Old timey goodness.















At Sweet Sue's, Phoenecia. baseball glove sized pancakes await.















or mayyyyybe... ah heck, it's BLT time, who am I fooling?

















Have you seen any waitresses in any of these photos? uh-huh.. point made.

















I think I remember what food tastes like.... hmmm.
















HA Ha ha! Oh my god, that's so funny I'm going to eat my own face. or yours. or that baby over there.
















a nice tree. between nice shops. everything is nice. because we've finally eaten.
















food is good. not working is good. the hills and snow and .. did I mention food is good?












our band photo got a little cut off. oops.
















deliiiiicious beverages.
















they have this strange holiday out here... it's called... hau.. hann... hanoo ... something.
















Esra loves this photo.

















Interesting tree with partially stripped bark. Everything on our mile hike above Woodstock was interesting. And beautiful. And good. And should I mention that we hiked with visions of burritos-to-come in our heads?

















hikey hikey.

































I think I pointed out this lighting to Dylan. I am, of course, now entitled to 50% of all profits made from any photos he takes.















what? a big spastic dog that jumps up on you??? no way. have you ever seen a dog become retarded because he's so happy? yeah.















Fireside portrait time: "you have to hold your pose for 6 seconds". Esra, take 12.
















Whatever I'm looking at, it's in exactly the right spot to make this photo suck.















"Did I set the p-stop, white balance, F stop over correction to the wide aperature for the " .... ok, I have no idea what the hell I'm talking about. I am quite glad Dylan did. does.
















see?















seeeee??????? If I took this picture, you'd ask me "cool.. what's that?"

















Dogs and photos were made for eachother.
















Fabulous-dinner-if-I-do-say-so-myself-night. I made scallops in lemon/onion butter and poached white fish. And brussell sprouts.


















make a right after the bridge. This river ran approx 100 feet from our cabin.


















Our cabin and carriage. the road out (to the left and up the hill) got icey enough to force 3 of us out of the car twice to push us past a few impassable parts.

















Diego fumed and barked with impotent jealousy whenever anyone climbed the loft stairs. He would climb them if you literally 'escorted' him, side-by-side up the stairs, but wouldn't climb them by himself. Seeing the open space through the stairs made him unsure of the climb. descent was no problem.
















Esra and I make the "oh-god-please-dont-fall" walk. Somehow, Dylan fell four times, none of the rest of us fell even once.
















Diego models.















Dylan 'one-arm's it. As a master of one arm photography myself, I've gotta admit, the boy's got skills.

















the back porch, early AM. did I mention that the 2 bedroom cabin was $300 for 2 nights?
















all photosets should end with a sunset photo.

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Donna Gail Dayani

JOURNAL ENTRY
Soooo....
hmm. ok.
I was in San Diego.
visiting my dad and brother and
observing the one year anniversary
of my mom passing away.
"passing away".
Let's talk about euphemisms;
or maybe not.
Let's talk about issue avoidance.
but not really....
Let's ... not...
really talk about it at all.
Yeah,
I've put off writing about it because
I obviously dont really want to write about it and
chances are, you dont want to read about it.
Why would you?
Because you "care"? care about what?
my family? me? my story?
a healthy expression of the stages of grief?
do you need to practice?
practice empathy, sympathy
What do you want to hear?
what can I possibly say
that 4000 years of mourners havent already
said in every conceivable way?
"It was hard", "it wasn't easy"...
..how's that? - not good, huh?
they're just words.
Do you need to see
the look on my dad's face
when he reminisces?
Or share my pain
to know I went through it?
Can you fathom the loss
of your mother,
of your father's wife,
of a woman who died
30 years younger than her mom did?
Why would you
if you haven't yet lived it?
Dont.
until you're forced to.
Really.
There's just no reason to.
- When you do though,
and one year passes
and you do your thing
to honor and remember,
you'll know
that your way
is your way
to deal with grief.
Even if it's writing about it
but not writing about it.