NY Journal # 20

Tuesday, December 7th -

JOURNAL ENTRYMy mom passed away at approx 4:30pm PST. my dad called at 9pm EST, mostly hysterical.. "understandable" is yet another understatement. me? some shock. muffled sadness. much relief. 18 months of me and my family getting kicked and punched by bad news after dashed hopes after prolonged pain after realization of imminent death.. is finally over.

Wednesday, December 8th -
United's """bereavement""" fare is $200 more than their regular fare. Jet Blue has none but is still $200 cheaper than United's regular fare. god i hate United. and love Jet Blue. So I get in, drive back to Irvine with my brother, eat, watch some tv, get assigned by dad to sleep in "the other room" which is obviously my mom's old room. hmm. i start to wonder how weird or difficult that is going to be. thankfully the mental time distance of her not having been in it for 2 weeks or so was enough to disassociate. that and i think my dad put away a lot of her things to keep that factor at bay slightly.
the funeral is monday afternoon. if you feel the need to send flowers, please... dont. instead, send something to the Nat'l Foundation for Cancer Research or better yet, as a huge favor to me and a memorial to my mom, I'd ask that you get your computer hooked up on the grid.org's cancer research project - that would really mean a lot to me. It wont tax your computer in the slightest when you're using it, it's got no spyware or adware or anything harmful at all. It just helps "process molecular research" towards finding a cure for cancer. Not to sound like a commercial, but one in four people will get cancer so... i dont know how else to say this... do a small part in helping find a cure or treatment before it's you or somone in your family. American society, possibly due to our numbers, is most often powerless to help in fields that they dont have any specialized knowledge in... this is a chance to step outside that unfortunate fact of living. your computer can help where you might not be able to. hey, if your vote didn't "count", at least this can.
Please...
if you're tempted to say "if there's anything I can do for you?" - this is it.