Thursday, April 07, 2005

Overheard's Who's Sick? and 'Sightings'

More Overheard
DM leaving voicemail for her daughter: "I have to stay late at work, so have your boyfriend pick you up" [click - hangs up, then says] "whoever he may be this week"
DM leaving voicemail for her daughter: "Lauren, you had BETTER be at school right now. Swear to god, if you are asleep......" [click]
DM to daughter: "Lauren... Lauren. stop screaming. Lauren.. I'm not listening.. Lauren... Lauren... ...Lauren. stop screaming. Lauren. Lauren. Because I told him to. Why? because YOU NEED TO BE IN SCHOOL. I -told- him to wake you. Yes. I did."
DM leaving voicemail for her daughter: "Lauren, you had BETTER be in school"
DM to daughter: "Lauren... WHY are you NOT in school? No, that was not a reason the past 100 times you told me it, it's not now. We're gonna have a talk when I get home"
DM leaving voicemail for her daughter: "Lauren.. oh Lauren, you had BETTER be in school. Swear to god I'm gonna have words for you if you are not." [hangs up, then says] "swear to god.. I swear, I will kill that girl"
DM to husband: "Dave. stop your crying, you baby. He wants to borrow your car, he's not asking for a kidney. Then tell him NO. you're hysterical Dave. Dave, calm down. Tell him No if you dont want him to borrow it. Dave... Dave, I'm not having this conversation with you."
DM leaving voicemail for her daughter: "you had better call me back. If you dont call me back, I'm going to assume you're not at school."

Who??? What? Huh?
Sadly, DM's cat has cancer. From the 20 or so conversations about it that I've heard so far, it turns out her vet gave the cat it's first rabies shot, years ago, in "deep muscle tissue" instead of "just under the skin" and this new diagnosing vet has told her that sometimes that causes the rabies vaccine to "fester and become cancer". I honestly have no idea if that's true or not, but she is convinced to the point where "if I ever see that vet again, I am going to kick his ass, swear to god, I am going to. He wont know what hit him"
The almost-funny part of this story is that for the first 7 or so times she talked about it on the phone, I could have sworn she was talking about her husband. And that he was in surgery and possibly, was going to have to have his "arm" removed because of it. WHAT??!! Oh, AND that he had a "20% chance of survival". Ok, they're possibly removing your husband's arm... and he has a 20% chance of survival... and you're sitting here at work talking about it??!!?
The good news is that cat (and husband) are doing fine. Amputation was not necessary and everyone is recovering nicely. Lauren however, has missed another day of school.

+ Saw Lindsay Lohan outside of the 1/9 Christopher Street station. I do believe I saw her moments after her paparazzi-famous ankle twist accident. She didn't look nearly as good in person, all dolled up, Upper East Side style. Beautiful in Mean Girls and hosting SNL... not so lovely looking like daughter-to-daddy-war-bucks.
+ Saw the redhead from Sex In The City on 14th, Union Square. Blue baseball cap, North Face jacket - very nondescript, but still seemingly wanting to be noticed. I think she smiled a bit, thankful when I did a double-take, wondering if it was really her.
+ Saw Patti Smith finally, at my mailbox / PO box / mafia hang out. She's # 253, I'm 263. I always think her packages are mine. Still haven't seen Ad Rock of the Beastie Boys, Teri Hatcher or Sarah Jessica Parker, though I do see her packages all the time (SJParker-package sightings!!)
+ Saw the Olson twins near Washington Square Park. I didn't actually see it happen, but I imagined children starting to cry as they passed. And flowers wilting.

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