Monday, September 12, 2005

I have nothing interesting to say

Sadly, I've felt this way for a few weeks now. Everything's going fine, I just dont want to talk about it. Maybe I dont feel like talking because things are going so well. Yes, partly for my fear of jinxes but also because my life seems mostly fulfilling these days and my time seems better occupied living it than writing about it. And here am writing about it.... 'it' being my life. 'about' meaning things that pass before my eyes, such as:
-Candy. A new coworker in the office is pretty obsessed with the stuff. Sweets, chocolates, mints, caramels, swedish fish, you name it, she'll ask you "what you got?" & then eat it. She has no qualms about asking you point blank if you have candy and then taking it without asking but while making small talk, as if the taking of candy is part of a common social handshake system between coworkers.
--I'll admit, I've gone through phases of candy binging at work, but for the past few years I've steered mostly clear of the stuff. Lately though, with our new candy monster urging me on to buy more & more candy so she can eat all my candy... well.. I've been buying some candy. Mostly, I stick to old-timey favorites like Nips and Jolly Ranchers but sometimes branch out into the (still old-timey) craziness of Now & Laters. Now & Laters, while Highly Highly Delicious are for all practical purposes, a brutal 'Spanish Inquisition' to the soft fleshy tissue of your inner cheeks. Really, I think they make their candy this way to aid you in self-control, lest we all burn straight through 7 pounds of Now & Laters in one sitting. Despite their best efforts, it isn't really working. I want this candy gone from my desk drawer. No, I cant give it away or throw it away - are you crazy?? I must eat it, .. I must. It's too good. And too painful. Yea tho I walk through the valley of candy, I will fear no candy. I think that's how the line goes.
--So you see? I have no choice. take my candy, please. or dont complain when I complain to you about my sore cheeks.
friend who is a girl - jumble those words around and then discard the three shortest words. Ya. I think I have one. more later if I haven't already jinxed things all to hell.
touch football - Our touch football league kicked off on Sunday. Lordy, lordy is that fun. I played quarterback the whole game and needless to say, I am destined for the touch football quarterback hall of fame. The details: 5 guys, 3 girls on each team, 23 minute half's, 2 completions for a first down plus a first down for crossing the 50 yard line, every 3rd play must be a "girl [involved] play", no "picking" or blocking, pass rush on 5 mississippi's. I just lost about half of you, didn't I? Dont worry about it. It's football, you can sort of imagine how it might go. One thing I could not imagine is how sore I'd be the day after, considering that I was running around like crazy on defense only.
Volleyball league(s) - One league/team ends... umm.. two more begin. Why two? because I've come to terms with the fact that I would rather have too much volleyball (and sport in general) in my life than too little. One volleyball game per week was not even close to enough. Lately, I'd added outdoor (asphalt) court volleyball in Central Park to my v-ball doings but even that plus my league night wasn't enough. So now it'll be touch football on Sunday + 2 weeknights of volleyball and if that isn't enough sport for me, I will.. yes, be seeking counseling. Not to mention a masseuse.
--The season that's ending, as I may have mentioned, is the league where one of our teammates who's been playing for years in our league has never won with whatever team he was on and I believe, secretly talked league officials into putting our team into a lesser skill level which is great for easy wins but sucks for enjoying the game. We're almost assured a winner's t-shirt (Oooh!) but at what cost? Well, almost at the cost of my ankles, as inexperienced players often go flying around the court and under the net.
--This current team has generally been a little hard to deal with... with two bad-attituders, one sulky when he's not playing well & the other gets bitchy/complain'y when others make errors (she gets that way when she makes errors too but it comes out as bitchy/complain'y about everyone else's errors somehow). Co-ed sports in general is an interesting cross-sectional window into the disfunctional personalities people in metropolitan areas try unsuccessfully to hide. For the most part, people are quite normal and fun, but volleyball is prone to one of the extremest forms of covert narcissism, of holier-than-thou-ness, of elitism, classism, outright snobbery, whatever you want to call it. In other sports, people of varying skill levels intermingle and enjoy a game together, hardly aware at times of the shortcomings of teammates or opponents - not so in volleyball. Every point is a judgment of skill and consistency, every bad bump or hit into the net is that much less your teammates will trust you with the ball - it's kind of sick, actually. And yet it drives everyone on and makes them better. Maybe that's where the disfunctional personalities come from - a constant fear of looking stupid in front of your peers. Yeah, that sounds healthy.
--One of the teams I'm going to be playing with this coming season, on the other hand, is thankfully short of any kind of snobbery like that. They're all wonderfully nice and funny people who kick ass at volleyball but will never flaunt it. In exchange for lacking the snobbery disfunction, they've chosen instead: functional alcoholism. Yeah. they drink like fishes. Or drink with gusto, fishes. Half of them are from my softball team, so I've seen them drink. Jaegermeister is not an evil word to them. In fact that word "jaeger", plus the word "bomb" is a commonly used term after games, it seems. Crazy kids! If we all had a car, I'd be the designated driver by default since there's no way I could keep up with them.
--My other volleyball team is yet to be determined. I'm going to the open gym scrimmage night to "pick up" a team from scratch. Yes, "pick up" in quotes because open gym night ends up feeling like some sort of forced dating scenario where you have to pick up on 5 to 7 people within half an hour, half of which also happen to be guys. Yeah, it's kinda creepy.
Summer winds down - praise be to all the major deities, Summer is coming to an end. Ohhh sure, I'll miss the short skirts and low tops, the see-through blouses and short shorts, sundresses and bikini tops... and that's just in MY closet! ("HAY-OWWW!") So many things to miss and so so soooo SO many things NOT to miss. Like sweating. A Lot. All the time. Everywhere. Muggy, steamy, smelly heat you can almost see and touch. No thank you.

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