Thursday, August 10, 2006

A fantasy football choose-your-own-adventure novel

Your work week slides by in a series of conference calls and utterly forgettable moments. Before you know it, Friday night is upon you and you're still at work - You sigh and look at the clock. Not long now... you have a dinner date in 30 minutes and need to shut down your computer and get the heck out of there!! but, DAMN! you forgot to set your fantasy football line up! Quickly, you hightail it over to your fantasy page and check to see who you've got Active. Good thing that you did, your Tight End has a BYE this week! Your knees tremble slightly and blood flushes from your face; you almost played this week without a tight end, surely making you the laughing stock of your league. Your other active starters are locks this week, somehow they're all playing against Detroit. If you select your backup tight end Kellen Winslow to be active, go to page 83. If you try to pick up a Free Agent TE and quickly slot him as Active, go to page 113

Your second tier running back has just been arrested in a high speed chase and shoot-out claiming the lives of his baby's mama and 37 mailmen on their lunchbreaks. There are only two days left before the trade deadline and suddenly, the thought of trading the Falcons Defense for Edgerin James doesn't sound so bad, even if he is in Arizona. Do you make the trade with your interdivision rival or will you scour the free agent/waiver wire for a last minute roster drop? Turn to page 375 to make the trade, turn to page 486 to play the free agent gamble.

Your love life is finally on the upswing. Things are going great with the Olive Garden hostess you met at your office christmas party, you just got a one percent raise at work and your sister just married that a-hole who owns the boat dealership - you hate him but it means weekends on a boat in the bay. Life couldn't be better. Do you play Peyton Manning against a strong Bills Defense (page 633) or Phillip Rivers against the spotty Titans Defense (page 698)?

Your entire team is made up of Oakland Raider players - normally this would be a very wise decision based on your deep commitment to excellence.. but the Raiders have a Bye this week. You'll need to drop some players to pick up some non-Raiders. Do you drop Janikowski and the TE Courtney Anderson and scramble together a rag-tag team of free agents (page 744) or do you play like a real man and activate all your Raiders, believing in their ability to score points without even playing? (page 788)

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